I’ve made myself absolutely miserable using all of the cognitive bypassing techniques you described so well here. It finally landed a few years ago in my early 60s that all the mental processing and abstraction wasn’t solving anything. The sad part besides only discovering this for myself in my 60s is that I’m not even especially good at all the mental machinations. I learned these techniques observing my mother and other members of my family who were extremely good at it and I admired them greatly, wishing to acquire a least fraction of their intelligence. Alas, I’m just now starting from square one to discover my genuine strengths, and no longer relying upon those I could only fantasize about possessing.
Sarah, you described me, including my age! I spent my whole life abandoning myself for connection, or protecting myself and avoiding connection. My “thinking problem” and other behaviors kept me from allowing pain and healing. I’m finally finding the freedom I’ve been seeking my whole life. I think that’s the key, ALLOW PAIN.
Thanks for this post. I definitely have been using overthinking instead of feeling for a lot of my life. I love just recently been getting a lot of signs and feelings that I need to forgive - to move on from those feelings of resentment and anger. Any tips on how to work on forgiveness would be great 😅
The connection betwee avoidance coping and how our lives shrink over time really hits home. Its wild how much energy gets wasted trying to think our way around feelings instead of just processing them. The repetition compulson thing explains why I keep finding myself in similar situations without realy understanding why.
Since I started doing therapy of any kind, I have learned that sometimes it is useful, sometimes use for another day or share with someone else who maybe able to use it or sometimes it goes in file G or recycle. Lately, I have following Forest and Ricks podcasts and find them very entertaining as well as helpful for some of the things I am dealing with in life and my schooling and working as a volunteer with peer support or other places. Recently, I applied for a part-time paid job at a place I never thought I would work as some of the clients are drug addicts and I would need more training but I took the dive off the high board as they say(whoever they are) and submitted my name for a position. It isn't about having a job or paycheck, it's about helping people who may have taken a different path or many paths and need or want a hand up not out to better themselves and I can use my knowledge, education and experiences to do that now. If I don't know the answer, I have no problem in doing the research to find out but I will not enable anyone, I am a caregiver, not a caretaker.
This is beautifully written and straight to the deep truths about healing wounds and injuries from the past. Brilliant! Thank you so very much Forrest❤️
I’ve made myself absolutely miserable using all of the cognitive bypassing techniques you described so well here. It finally landed a few years ago in my early 60s that all the mental processing and abstraction wasn’t solving anything. The sad part besides only discovering this for myself in my 60s is that I’m not even especially good at all the mental machinations. I learned these techniques observing my mother and other members of my family who were extremely good at it and I admired them greatly, wishing to acquire a least fraction of their intelligence. Alas, I’m just now starting from square one to discover my genuine strengths, and no longer relying upon those I could only fantasize about possessing.
Sarah, you described me, including my age! I spent my whole life abandoning myself for connection, or protecting myself and avoiding connection. My “thinking problem” and other behaviors kept me from allowing pain and healing. I’m finally finding the freedom I’ve been seeking my whole life. I think that’s the key, ALLOW PAIN.
Thanks for this post. I definitely have been using overthinking instead of feeling for a lot of my life. I love just recently been getting a lot of signs and feelings that I need to forgive - to move on from those feelings of resentment and anger. Any tips on how to work on forgiveness would be great 😅
The connection betwee avoidance coping and how our lives shrink over time really hits home. Its wild how much energy gets wasted trying to think our way around feelings instead of just processing them. The repetition compulson thing explains why I keep finding myself in similar situations without realy understanding why.
Since I started doing therapy of any kind, I have learned that sometimes it is useful, sometimes use for another day or share with someone else who maybe able to use it or sometimes it goes in file G or recycle. Lately, I have following Forest and Ricks podcasts and find them very entertaining as well as helpful for some of the things I am dealing with in life and my schooling and working as a volunteer with peer support or other places. Recently, I applied for a part-time paid job at a place I never thought I would work as some of the clients are drug addicts and I would need more training but I took the dive off the high board as they say(whoever they are) and submitted my name for a position. It isn't about having a job or paycheck, it's about helping people who may have taken a different path or many paths and need or want a hand up not out to better themselves and I can use my knowledge, education and experiences to do that now. If I don't know the answer, I have no problem in doing the research to find out but I will not enable anyone, I am a caregiver, not a caretaker.
This is beautifully written and straight to the deep truths about healing wounds and injuries from the past. Brilliant! Thank you so very much Forrest❤️